Agila

Mine is a question of factionalism, whether or not my calculations are as certain as reality, I may never verify. That is since there is an absolute fear of confrontation corroding my spirit. Yes, to overcome such notion is difficult yet still changeable.

However, the rules you least expect to violate are those you tend to break, and by it I have learned things the hard way. And, to mend the decadence of dignity and trust from the people, mine is to repent and rectify thus show stoicism and sincerity.

Indeed it is difficult, a subtle agony that I am willing to endure, but still changeable.

This democratic method of resolving contradictions among the people was epitomized in 1942 in the formula “unity, criticism, unity”. To elaborate, it means starting from the desire for unity, resolving contradictions through criticism or struggle and arriving at a new unity on a new basis. In our experience this is the correct method of resolving contradictions among the people.

On the Correct Handling of Contradictions Among the People  (February 27, 1957), 1st pocket ed., p. 12.

Saul Newman, The Politics of Postanarchism (2010: p. 169-170)

Fight the status quo!

This is my final, if not the last, personal sentiments before I completely submit to a life transcendent in myself.   

I could no longer remember the every detail of my memories since I gain consciousness about the world, many were already distant reminiscences.

Adversities. Doubts. Fears. Frustrations. Insecurities. Deceit. Hatred. Indignation. Realizations. Tearful Joys and Joyful Tears. These sum up half of my existence, by which later became pedagogies that shaped my bourgeios self.

I even considered a simple life, away from the bustling metro and scuffles of social awakening, even entertaining the bliss of unconsciousness.

I admit I regret many things that if I had the power to bend reality to my will, I would. However, I’m done denying social realities. 

I have already learned my lessons. Critical choices root from rationalization, point well-noted.

At this moment, I am no more deranged with mindless emotions, only love and fury. Fury to the system that molded beings to do things that exploit others. Love to a people that have been spawned into relentless struggles only to attain their long-denied dream of genuine democracy.

I am furthermore disgusted by how much our toppling leaders tolerated this nation’s vassalage to the dictates of imperialism, the U.S. to be precise. They speak of freedom and democracy which they never know by heart, of aphorisms that ensure to win our hearts and minds, of rekindling promises and speeches including sugar-coated ones.

I, on the other hand, will only speak of anguish. That, everything the youth and parents is frustrated about links to the primary problems of Philippine society being semi-colonial and semi-feudal. Trust me, this is imperative.

Thenceforth, the tears that will fall from my eyes will only be tears of anguish to the society. 

I will hurt for the people. I will cry and laugh with them.

I will know something about their lives, their dreams…

for these are ways I could understand them,

and serve them…in the fullness of my proletarian spirit.

And, even if we break from every step, we will continue. We should continue..

For there are no sweet victories without defeat.

We may lost some battles, but  we will win the war!